Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Believe It Or Not - There Is A Genetic Test For ... Cellulite

John Galliano has nothing to do with cellulite, not at all. I was looking for an old Ripley's Believe It Or Not photo which I couldn't find and came across one of my favorite John Galliano pieces ever from those early, early days. 

 So ... settle back and know that we are approaching the season in which we may, along with Samantha Dunn who owns this divine phrase, worry about "thundering Glamazons" with flawless skin, pert and perky everything who also happen to possess hair that doesn't frizz after a dunk in the ocean - even their toenails will be perfect. Cellulite? Impossible.

I admit I was startled by the following press release. Should I be? I don't know. I'll just post bits of it - the actual release was rather dry.

The CelluliteDX Genetic Test for Moderate or Severe Cellulite (gynoid lipodystrohy) was released today by DermaGenoma, a genetic dermatology company located in sunny Irvine, California. This $249.00 test helps doctors predict if a patient is at high risk for developing Numberger-Muller grade 2 cellulite (grades? Numberger-Muller? really????).

I guess the good news is at this is done by a cheek swab. Oh and the results are completely confidential. That is nice, isn't it.


  1. and then there's this ...

  2. this is hilarious....but I think I would just spare myself the knowledge..

  3. ahahaha this cellulit grades is a funny issue!

  4. i thought everyone had cellulite!

  5. WTF?!?!? for ten bucks i'll take a look and let someone know if i think they will ever get cellulite.

  6. Rather than just mocking the test, I read the release. It seems that you can find out if you're likely to develop cellulite BEFORE it develops. If you are, there are more things you can do to help avoid it. See for yourself before you laugh - it's online at

  7. Dear Anonymous,
    The thing is that cellulite seems to be part of what happens to women. There's a moment when even the loveliest, the most graceful, the ones that have eaten well and to whom exercise is a way of life will look in the mirror at their very toned, healthy body and see cellulite.

    Is there really something that can be done to prevent it? I think not. Mock the test? I don't know. I simply do not, sadly, believe that it can be avoided.

    And I do think that the plethora of ideas to combat it have minimal results. I would suggest that 249.00 would be better spent in other ways.


    Treatments and drugs
    By Mayo Clinic staff

    Weight loss
    Weight loss — through healthy diet and regular exercise — is probably the most beneficial cellulite treatment. Losing pounds and strengthening muscles in your legs, thighs and buttocks can improve the appearance of the dimpled skin. The benefits of weight loss alone are limited, however. Though the cellulite may be less noticeable after weight loss, it won't go away completely.

    Lasers and radiofrequency systems
    Perhaps the most promising medical therapy is lasers and radiofrequency systems. One system uses combined negative tissue massage, radiofrequency and infrared light to treat cellulite. The other system delivers combined tissue massage with diode laser energy. Both systems offer improvements to cellulite after a series of several twice-weekly treatments. Results may last up to six months.

    Liposuction ineffective
    Some people may turn to liposuction as a treatment for cellulite. During liposuction, a surgeon inserts a narrow tube under your skin through tiny incisions, and then suctions out fat cells. Though liposuction can shape the body, it won't remove cellulite, and it may make the cellulite appear worse.

    Many devices, products and creams claim to treat cellulite. But there is little or no scientific evidence to support these claims. If you do find a cellulite treatment that improves your skin, the results aren't likely to last long term.

    The following are a few of the many advertised cellulite treatments. Keep in mind that these treatments haven't been proved effective in removing cellulite.

    * Vigorous massage. Some cellulite treatments are based on the concept that vigorous massage will increase blood flow, remove toxins and reduce excess fluid in cellulite-prone areas. One method in particular, Endermologie (also referred to as lipomassage), uses a hand-held machine to knead the skin between rollers. You may notice a slight improvement to your skin after this treatment, but the results are typically short-lived.
    * Mesotherapy. This procedure involves injecting a solution — which may contain a combination of aminophylline, hormones, enzymes, herbal extracts, vitamins and minerals — under the skin. This treatment can cause several unwanted effects, including infection, rashes, and bumpy or uneven skin contours.
    * Cellulite creams. Creams that contain a variety of ingredients, such as vitamins, minerals, herbal extracts and antioxidants, are often marketed as the cure for cellulite. But no studies show that these creams offer any improvement. And in some cases, the ingredients in these products cause skin reactions or rashes.

    By Mayo Clinic staff

    There is no way to prevent getting cellulite. Keeping off excess pounds and strengthening your muscles through regular exercise, however, can go a long way toward maintaining your skin tone and texture.

  9. Existing therapies are unlikely to reverse severe cellulite once it has occurred; however, early lifestyle changes including exercise, medication choices (i.e. hormone-based birth control and hormone replacement therapy), and therapies, such as laser therapy, may slow or stop the development of severe cellulite and improve visual aesthetics.


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